It's almost 12...and I'm on the bed trying to control the flow of thoughts in my mind and heart and have a good sleep but these random thoughts are not letting me do so...there are questions..a few without any reason...a few to which a solution is desperately wanted...there are answers to what I did..there is satisfaction to what happened and there is eagerness to what's next... As I lie on the bed I look behind to what happened in the past 24 hours...those moments when suddenly our hands touched each others...those moments when he stopped me and I sensed that he was looking at me...that one special hug...we have been together for 6 months now...the feeling is amazing...the way we met..the way things fell into place...all brought us closer and hence made us ONE... Yesterday was a milestone day...we had a "Walk to Remember" we usually go on walks but this one was special not because we went to a different place but because we talked our hearts out...everything about our past..our expectations from future.. I wish that moment froze forever...but then the greed to live more moments with him suppressed the wish. He's a gentleman... It might be a little too early to completely trust someone...but this person was an exact replica of ME...and who else could better understand me than my own image...
Whenever we talked, he without fail mentioned of this one thing I still wonder about...that my eyes were the most beautiful in the world... Yes, indeed they were as my mother has always told me that...but unfortunately these beautiful eyes never gave me an opportunity to see the beautiful world, my beautiful mother and the person who was ready to spend the whole life with me.
Yes, I was blind...I "was" blind...It was his eyes through which I now could gaze onto this world... But that one thing I longed to see were his eyes...the love in them...the love for me..the love for US.
Few days later...
I received a call from him, he was leaving the country to persuade his dreams, to study at the University of US. He promised that once he accomplishes what he dreams of he'll be back, back to me. I got back to focusing on my job at the MNC.
The telephonic conversations now didn't last for more than ten minutes but the bond our hearts shared has now lasted for 16 months. It was just short of 3 months that we'd be back together living OUR dreams that a mishap took place...I met with an accident and internally injured my brain leaving a nervous disorder in both the eyes. The doctor said that if the eyes weren't being transplanted within three days the disorder might lead to paralysis as well. My mother was frightened. She has been alone raising me, her only child and if I would leave her at this stage of life she would always curse the day when I lost my vision. She would blame herself.
4 days later
My eyes were being unwrapped after the operation. There were butterflies in my stomach I was going to see my mother, the woman who took all the pains so that I could live happily... I wished to see him.. The one who loved me and showed me the world...
As I open my eyes I could see the colors fading in.. My eyes could make a figure..a woman in blue sari standing in front of me...with hands folded praying to god to return all good she has done in one go...to return her daughter's eyesight...
I stared her for a minute...got off my bed and embraced her and whispered in her ears.. " maa, you prayers have come true...I can see" . She broke into tears and the said " oh beta...khushi ke aansu hain..."
The next moment I was in front of the mirror...surprisingly looking into my own eyes...are they so beautiful?? Or the world seems to be more beautiful??
There was something that gave me immense satisfaction...and I suddenly realized that what I've longed for so many months is here...there it was..right in these eyes...these were his' ...I could see the love for myself... I could see why the world was so beautiful..I could see what the eyes reflected...
I weeped as time flew probably trying to soak in the fact that I lost someone because he loved me to an extent where he could loose himself but not me....
Disclaimer : Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is purely coincidental.
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